Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:47

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”
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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
Is it just me, or do we all hate Sasuke from Naruto?
I actually pay taxes
I have a reading level above third grade
I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
Why do I want to suck cock tonight?
I understand how hurricane paths work
I can read
I see through liars
Are INFJs essentially the most introverted type?
I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
I have complete contempt for fakery
I have complete contempt for traitorism
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is
I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
Why is there no evidence of a multiverse theory?
I don’t cotton to rapists
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
What's the hardest part about marriage that no one ever talks about?
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
Why are there so many single moms in America?
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
Do you wear tights for warmth or to make your legs look better?
I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee
I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
Which country has the best and strictest legal system in the world?
I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
If someone works for me, I actually pay them
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I can count
I don’t buy bullshit
It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”